Of good intentions and roads to hell
by JantoXDrose
Summary: A sequel to my story "The importance of being with Jack" Ianto and Gwen are ready to go back to work after an year of maternity leave. But between saving the world, aliens, new team members and family problems can Ianto and Jack finally be happy?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood and do not make profit from my fanfiction.**

**A huge thank you to my beta shinee1234 for her work. so here is the sequel.**

It was an year since Ianto and Gwen had left Torchwood on maternity leave and even if gwen didn't leave to big a gap that needed to be filled iantos absence did. They were two people down and needed to recruit more so despite Jack reluctance he had recruited Andy Davidson, ex PC and Gwen's old partner in the police, to fill in for gwen as field agent and police liaison. John Hart stopped once in a while for the last couple of months, Jack had to call him and the Doctor a few times and in the end John decided that if Jack wanted him on the team he will stay permanently. Or semi permanently as it turned out because from time to time the Doctor came and swiped him away. Jack knew that there was time when he would have been hurt and jealous that the Doctor never did this for him, but now he had a family to take care of and a Welshman to marry. Admittedly they still haven't started planning the wedding properly. Ianto seemed a bit depressed and Jack was worried. People told him that it was normal for a newly given birth person to have a post natal depression but it should have passed in a few weeks or at worst a couple of months, but it didn't. Ianto was still moving as if through fog, not really paying attention to Jack, not wanting intimacy and being constantly tired. The only thing he didn't slack on was taking care of the twins. There at least Ianto was as careful as he had ever been. Jack was still worried thought.

Maybe Ianto wasn't made for staying at home with the kids, maybe he needed to work, be useful and save the world. That is why in the end Jack agreed to Ianto coming back to work soon, despite not being very convinced that Ianto was 100% ready yet. But Gwen was coming back and Jack knew how it will affect ianto if he knew that but was refused a chance to get back to work himself and be shut taking care of children for much longer. So now they were looking at nurseries and childminder groups for the twins and Ianto was going to be back to work in no longer than two months.

Jack missed him around the Hub anyway, so he was a bit exited to have his lover back, he just didn't know how he will be able to wait for another two month. The Hub had sank in its pre Ianto state with some litter around and unfiled papers. To Andy's credit he did try to maintain it relatively clean and file his reports correctly, but he just wasn't Ianto despite looking positively delicious in this jeans and leather Jacket. He really didn't know how Gwen could have chosen Rhys when Andy was interested in her.

Owen and Tosh had finally gone on that date and a few weeks ago Tosh had moved to live with Owen and announced that she was two weeks pregnant. It was something to be celebrated in the Hub and things seemed to be going very well, but now they would have a tech vacancy in a few months. It seemed that for the first time in the Torchwood's history no agents were dying but they all were conceiving. If only Jack could do something to lift Ianto's mood.


	2. Chapter 2

Ianto Jones loved his children, really he did, but he also liked for everything to be in order. That is something that children do not possess. There had been a time, when, if you asked Ianto how much baby piss or other fluids and food was acceptable on a shirt he would have said none. But after a year of raising his children, he would now reply that as long as it is not clearly visible and doesn't smell too much a little is acceptable. After all, a parent cannot be expected to change their clothes all the time. Before, he used to wear smart suits and expensive jeans and shirts; now he wore a Primark top and H&amp;M jeans for everyday use.

He couldn't remember the last time he had a normal conversation that didn't involve what he was cooking for dinner, whether it be for himself and Jack or the kids, or even what the kids had done during the day. His days included a monotonous routine of waking up, preparing breakfast, sending Jack to work, doing some housework before the kids wake up and feeding them. The only star on the horizon was when he took the kids to the playgroup, where he could chat with other parents. However, all the other parents talked about kids as well, and it was sad. Once in a while he would meet up with Rhys and Anwen there and think how lucky Gwen was. It made him even more depressed and added to his stress. He was already tired and irritable. He even snapped to two teenagers in the supermarket and swore at one builder for no reason. Of course, the kids went and remembered the words. Next day when Jack tried to discipline them, Gray told him to piss off. Ianto groaned, feeling even more irritable. He couldn't even be a good parent.

Gwen was back at work from that day while he was stuck at home, Ianto knew that Jack was getting annoyed with his insecurities about Gwen, but he couldn't help it. After all she had done, she was allowed back to work, but he had to stay at home like a housewife. Ianto even saw Gwen at the shops once. She looked as sexy as before her pregnancy while he still had some extra pounds he had to lose. They've had a lot of trouble with Jack lately because of Ianto's depression. The last time Jack had caught him harming himself. He hadn't done this since he was teenager, but he needed the release of the physical pain to escape from the emotional stress. It was just unfortunate that Jack had seen him that time. Jack hadn't yet noticed that Ianto hardly ate or that he had other methods to hurt himself by and not only cutting. How could he know really when he was hardly ever at home. There were times when Ianto would wake up in the late hours of the night and Jack's side of the bed would be cold. Ianto knew that it wasn't fair to blame Jack, but he couldn't help but wonder how many times it was because Torchwood was just too busy, and how many were because Jack was bored of him and was somewhere else.

This morning Jack's alarm on his vortex manipulator went off and he ran out the house before he had finished his breakfast. The kids were still sleeping and he really wanted to know what was going on because he was sick of being out of the loop and needed something to distract him. He took the baby monitor with him and made his way to the garage. He had fitted a connection with the hub's mainframe for a laptop in the garage with the help of Tosh. Accessing the system, Ianto tried to find the latest case when he heard the babies wake up and start crying. He debated closing off the search and going to check on them, but then decided that a few minutes in there bed wasn't going to hurt them. He stayed in the garage and kept searching. Apparently some group called The Night Travelers were causing Torchwood trouble, or at least that was what Tosh had logged into the Hub's database. Four people were in hospital in a coma and these creatures were on the loose. A moment later he heard the door to the house opening through the baby monitor, and thought of going to see who it was, but the kids stopped crying and he heard Jack's voice over it.

"What are you two doing here all alone?" Jack asked puzzled. "Where is your tad, eh?"

Ianto could hear that Jack was annoyed. Jack had a right to be; he shouldn't have left the kids alone in the first place, and he knew he shouldn't have. What if it wasn't Jack that came at the house? He was starting to feel extremely guilty and closed off the search to go back inside. Jack had put the twins in their chairs on the table and left them to try and eat their own food. Ianto sighed inwardly, just like every toddler, they were really messy when they eat and it was going to be him cleaning again.

Jack met him at the door with a frown and had his hands on his hips.

"What the bloody hell were you thinking, leaving them alone like this?" Jack shouted at him. Not even a good morning first. Ianto almost pointed that out, but decided that he was in enough trouble already. "Where were you?"

"I was only in the garage," Ianto said defensively. "And I had the baby monitor with me. I knew it was you."

"Well, what if it wasn't?" Jack demanded. "I came back because there is that group of travelers who take the souls and the tears away. Wanted to make sure you lot were ok. What is wrong with you lately?"

"But it was you. And the garage is just on the other side of the house."

"I don't care! You can't just leave them alone like this," Jack snapped. "I don't know what is going on with you lately, but you need to pull yourself together."

Ianto opened his mouth to answer and then snapped it shut. He silently took a calming breath, as if it were just that easy. As if he just wanted to be miserable and stressed and now that Jack gave him an order he was obliged to obey!. As if he hadn't tried to pull himself together.

"Yeah, as if you would know. You are never here," Ianto shouted leaving Jack stunned. He turned around and slammed the door going back to the garage.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the twins. **

**A/N: A big thankyou to my beta shinee1234 for all the help and work. **

When Ianto had stormed off, Jack was left feeling very lost at first and then he felt like a total jerk. He knew that Ianto was unhappy and he had noticed it. He also knew that he had to do something about it, but he was so busy with Torchwood lately. First Owen had almost died at the Pharm and i it wasn't for Adam, they would have lost Owen and Tosh would've been a single mom in a few months. Then Andy caught an alien virus and now this trouble with the night travellers. At least Gwen was back now, and that may be why Ianto is so stressed lately. Jack had thought that coming back to work sooner might actually help Ianto feel better. He just wasn't sure that Ianto was mentally ready, but then again, Ianto had always dealt with problems by working hard. Like with the situation after Lisa's death. Or maybe he wasn't dealing with it; maybe he was only repressing it and now had gotten to this stage. What had come over him that he had to leave the children alone?

Jack's vortex manipulator beeped again, alerting him to another sighting of the night travellers. After sending Gwen a message that he would be there as soon as he could, he quickly cleaned up the children's' chairs and put all the waste in the bin bag to take out to the garage.

As soon as the garage door opened, Ianto slammed his laptop shut because he didn't want Jack to see that he was spying on what the team was doing instead of thinking about changing the kids' nappies. He had seen the alert and was expecting Jack to come and handover the twins to him.

"Emergency?" Ianto asked when Jack left the pram beside him.

"Yes, but when I come back we need to talk."

"What's there to talk about Jack?" Ianto said tersely and pushed the pram past Jack and out of the garage. "I'm going for a walk, and then going to Rhiannon's. I'll talk to her and see if she will look after Hope and Gray. We can hire her as a nanny, then I can come back to work starting tomorrow."

"What?" Jack ran after Ianto and stopped him with a hand on his arm. "You're not ready for this Ianto. You need professional help. You're self harming and you don't eat properly…I can't risk you not being completely healthy, with the job we do."

"Didn't you have an emergency?" Ianto asked and tried to shrug Jack's hand off his arm.

"They will wait or work without me," Jack said keeping his hold a bit forceful.

"I don't need professional help!" Ianto shouted and tried to pull himself off again. "I just need to do something different instead of changing nappies and going to playgroups. And since when are we more important than work emergencies? It really didn't look like that for the last few months. Where were you those nights when the kids woke up with stomach aches or teething pains?"

Jack's winced at Ianto's words and he knew that Ianto was right, but he had a responsibility to this city and he couldn't leave his team alone to deal with things. If Tosh was pregnant and still working, he could do this too, but it seemed he had hurt Ianto deeply with his actions. He reflexively tightened his hold on Ianto.

"You're hurting me." Ianto hissed at him angrily.

Jack let go of him and stepped back feeling disgusted with himself for hurting Ianto.

"I'm sorry love," Jack said shakily. "There's just so much to deal with at the Hub. Owen almost died if Adam hadn't been there…" Jack shook his head. "And you're always moody and I didn't want to see the bloodied towels after you sneaked off to cut yourself in the middle of the night, so it was easier to work."

"Easier for who Jack?" Ianto asked with tears in his eyes. "For you?"

"Yes. For me." Jack answered feeling guilty. "I'm so sorry Ianto."

"Do you still trust me Jack?" Ianto asked, looking Jack in the eyes.

"Of course I do."

"Then let me talk to Rhi and let me come back to work tomorrow," Ianto pleaded.

"Okay."

"Oh, and Jack?" Ianto asked turning around to look back at Jack. "Who's Adam?"

Jack looked confused for a moment.

"What do you mean who's Adam?" Jack asked sounding even more confused than Ianto. "You can't tell me you don't know him? He's been working for Torchwood for 3 years, oh and Andy is his boyfriend now. Don't you remember him?"

"No, I don't" Ianto said. He shook his head, looking very confused.

"It might be because of the retcon Gwen gave you."

"Can't be," Ianto protested. "You would've mentioned him during the year, and this is the first time you're mentioning him. When you talk about missions, you've mentioned Tosh, Owen, John Hart, Andy and even Martha, Mickey and Gwen, but you have never mentioned Adam."

Jack shrugged, "Must've forgotten, then."

"Where was he when I gave birth?"

"On a holiday I think." Jack said vaguely starting to feel very confused himself after all these questions from Ianto. Now that he thought about it for some reason he couldn't remember what exactly Adam had done a year ago, it was all a bit fuzzy really. He shook his head and decided that it must be due to all the stress. After all Adam was his best friend and the only one he could tell about Ianto's self harming tendencies and he had helped him through the nights when he didn't want to face Ianto. Adam had even sacrificed his nights at home with Andy to keep him company for a few drinks.

"Right," Ianto said, not convinced. "Now, shoo, you have an emergency to attend to."

Jack smiled hesitantly.

"Are we good?" he asked.

"Not really, but we will be," Ianto assured him and Jack jumped back in the SUV and sped towards the bay.

Ianto let out a sigh and resolved that he would go back to work tomorrow, and solve the Adam mystery. Maybe that might even help him to regain some normality again. And wasn't that twisted when you think of the Torchwood life as the normal one.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't know anything the show belongs to BBC.

**Thank you to my beta reader shinee1234 for her wonderful work.**

When Jack came back from the emergency at Torchwood, Ianto was already dead to the world and the twins were sleeping. He sighed with disappointment as he had hoped that he would be able to talk to Ianto tonight when he got home before Ianto came back to work tomorrow. The chances of that happening now were gone. He thought briefly of getting into bed and sleeping for a couple of hours, but he was to wound up from the case especially from the fact that he and Gwen had managed to save only one boy. Gwen was very distraught by the fact that she had let go of the flask and lost the souls of the other people leaving a small boy as an orphan. She wanted to stay at work because she had no one to go to and share the pain with, but Jack had told her to go home. Maybe even see if Rhys was willing to talk to her and take Anwen for a few hours. Jack hoped it would be enough to calm her.

He really hoped that he would be able to talk to Ianto about this as well, but he didn't want to wake him up. Sighing again, he turned around, quietly closing the door behind himself and took his phone out to call someone.

"Adam?" Jack greeted when a sleepy voice answered him. "Can I talk to you?"

"Hi, Jack," Adam answered him sounding reluctant. "I hope this is important because I was on the verge of sleeping and you almost woke up Andy."

"It is important," Jack said. "I…I just feel so lost. You know with argument I had with Ianto, and the case. I just need to talk to someone. I'm sorry."

"No, that's fine," Adam said. "You know that I'm always here for you. Just tell me where to go."

"The roof of the gas station," Jack told him.

He felt guilty for leaving Ianto again, but he needed to talk to someone and Adam was the one person that could understand him. He made his way down the stairs as quietly as he could and prayed he haven't woken Ianto up. He could feel the guilt creep up on him as he went downstairs and actually winced, but he kept on going and went outside.

When he arrived at the roof, Adam was already waiting there for him.

"You're fast," Jack remarked. "What did Andy say about you leaving in the middle of the night again?"

Adam waved Jacks' concerns away. He knew it wasn't the first time that he had left Andy in the middle of the night much the same way that Jack had left Ianto. If Andy didn't know that Adam knew Jack for a longer period of time than him and nothing had happened he would probably be jealous. He wasn't still Jack thought that Andy would be annoyed.

"Don't worry. He didn't like it much, but he knows that I love him and he'll get over it." Adam said putting a hand on Jack's shoulder. "But we are here to talk about you not me."

"Yeah" Jack sighed. "You know I had an argument with Ianto today, on top of everything recently. He wants to come back tomorrow."

"But you know he isn't ready," Adam protested.

Jack sighed heavily and sat on the edge of the roof letting his legs dangle over the side. Adam followed him and sat beside him in the same position, but leaned backwards on his elbows and looked up at the sky.

"What if something happens? Hope and Gray need him, you are the one always rushing around to keep them safe, and he should be resting at home until he is ready. You told me that you found him throwing up a couple of nights before."

"I know, but he said that staying at home makes it worse and he will be sending the kids to stay with Rhiannon. I just couldn't say no." Jack sighed heavily,

"I know, but you should," Adam told him firmly. "Its for the best. Let him know that"

"I don't know. I will let him come back and if he isn't ready then at least he'll know that it isn't because I don't want him around."

"You are the boss, you know what's best," Adam shrugged. "Now tell me how do you feel."

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Something woke Ianto up, but he couldn't work out what it was exactly as he was half asleep. Thinking it might be Jack, but not wanting to risk being robbed or even worse, he reached into the bedside drawer where he hid a stun gun from Jack and slowly crept out of the room. He could hear the person making their way carefully but stealthily down the stairs. Reaching the end of the landing he looked carefully down the stairs and saw Jack retreating then opening the door and leaving the house.

Ianto threw the gun at the wall in frustration and almost let out a small scream but stifling it as he didn't want to wake the twins. His stomach lurched and he felt sick, just as when he is nervous. So Jack had left him again to go and brood on a rooftop. Even after they had that conversation and Jack still wouldn't stay at home with him. He wondered if Jack was on the roof with that Adam guy, and what their relationship was really?

His stomach rolled again and he ran to the bathroom. He barely managed to open the lid of the toilet seat before he was violently sick. He worried for a moment that he was having another round of Bulimia as he had made a conscious decision not to make himself throw up today. It was hard, so hard but he knew that he had to stop if he wanted to be good at work. He remembered having the same problem as a teenage. Only difference was he had done it for years then, now it was just a few months. No, he knew it wasn't that and that he was sick because of all his thoughts about Jack choosing to spend his time with Adam more than with him and their children. Heck, even Gwen didn't seem so much of a problem right now. When he started to dry retch he rinsed his mouth and flushed the toilet. He thought that he should go and check on the kids and then go to bed, but he suddenly felt dizzy and only just made it to bed. Ianto wondered if he should mention these dizzy spells and tiredness that he had for the last few weeks, but if he did Jack wouldn't let him back to work, so he decided against it. It was probably because of his unhealthy eating and maybe when he started eating properly again everything would sort itself out,

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Gwen was in tears when she got back home. Jack had just dismissed her but then again he wasn't in best shape as well. She hoped that now that he had some apparent domestic issues, Jack will come to her and they would be able to soothe each other. But he had told her to go home and talk to Rhys to take Anwen or stay with him. As if she didn't have any pride. Then he had run off to Ianto Bloody Jones.

She couldn't go to Rhys and she didn't think she could deal with Anwen right now especially if she was teething again and would keep Gwen up half the night. She was too exhausted, both physically and mentally for this.

Brushing her tears away she decided to get some wine and sit in front of the TV and let the crappy shows take her mind off things, but it wasn't that easy. The moment she took a sip of wine and turned the TV on, she thought of a woman who would never do that again after a long night at home, of a man who would never have to choose a bottle of wine for his wife again, and of a kid who will never see his parents again. The tears came back with full force. Gwen had to leave the glass on the coffee table because her hand started shaking as she cried uncontrollably.

The sound of her apartment door opening startled her and she stopped crying. Instantly alert and in professional mode, she picked up her gun and stood up to confront the intruder. There he was, Captain John Hart in all his playboy glory. He was standing there by the door legs crossed at the ankles and body slouched on the wall. He looked smug but when he saw her tear-streaked face his demeanor changed.

"You alright Freckles?" John asked, concerned.

"What do you think?" Gwen replied sharply

"Yeah stupid question I know," John said and approached her. He brushed a thump over her cheek she recoiled from his touch.

"What do you want Vera?" Gwen asked.

John leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"I want to fuck you so hard that you will forget your own name."

Then he kissed her hard. It wasn't exactly what she wanted but at least was better than being alone.


	5. Chapter 5

**A huge thank you to my beta shinee1234 for all her work**

In the morning when Ianto woke up he could hear Jack pottering on around the kitchen despite his side of the bed not being slept in. He jumped out of bed fearing that he had overslept and was late to make breakfast for the kids. Of course, Jack could do it instead of him for once, but Ianto did not want Jack anywhere near his coffee machine in fear he would destroy the kitchen.

He felt a bit dizzy and the room swirled for a few seconds. When everything was okay again, Ianto found himself sitting on the floor by the leg of the bed. He took a deep breath and promised himself that he would eat something today. When he felt safe enough to stand up, he got up and made his way to the kitchen. Jack was making some toast and was trying to spread cold butter straight from the fridge; something that was impossible and it seemed that Jack had just discovered it because he let out a frustrated sigh and just dumped some butter on his toast and began eating.

"Have the kids eaten?" Ianto asked and made Jack jump and drop his toast on the counter. "Sorry," Ianto apologised.

"Damn Ianto, don't sneak up on me like that," Jack admonished him. " I didn't know you were up yet. You looked quite ill last night when I came back."

"Yeah, didn't feel too well. Decided to go to bed earlier," Ianto lied not wanting to start another fight with Jack, not when he was going back to work at last. "The kids?"

"Oh, yeah I fed them and Rhiannon came by to pick them up," Jack told him.

Ianto looked startled at the watch on the wall, it was 10:30. He didn't think he had overslept that much on his first day back to work.

"Shit!" Ianto exclaimed.

"Don't worry, we have plenty of people manning the hub so you can afford to be a bit late today." Jack told him, smiling.

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Being back at work felt very strange, the dynamics of the hub had changed so much since he last worked there. He was very surprised to be greeted by Andy Davidson at his old desk in the tourist office. It would certainly take some getting used to. Of course he knew about Tosh's pregnancy, she had visited him a few times and he could see her growing belly. Seeing her at work and remembering that the father of the baby was their cynical medic, who until recently was an ass with Tosh was very bizarre. Especially when he saw how much Owen cared for Tosh, something that he wished Jack would do sometimes, even if he would never admit it. He would have never thought Owen had it in himself to be a very loving and caring husband and father.

The other addition was Mickey who seemed to keep getting on Owen's nerves and looked as if he was worshipping the ground under Tosh's feet. Especially when Tosh showed him some more of the mainframe system. As Andy had explained it, Mickey Smith was here to learn from Tosh and fill in for her as a tech while she was on maternity leave. Andy was supposed to fill in for the field, but Mickey was very good at it as well, acting as an experienced soldier, so Andy was mostly doing paperwork and occasional fieldwork when going to family members and houses. Now partnered with Gwen since she was back. He led him down to the archives to show Ianto the work he had done, and Ianto was relieved to see that Andy had mostly kept his carefully filed system. It would need a bit of work but it was mostly fine. He was worried about meeting Gwen again as he didn't know how he would react, or how she might react. And of course he couldn't wait to meet this Adam person.

When they finally went back up in the main hub , the mysterious Adam had arrived, and Gwen had apparently gone out to the shops to get lunch for the rest of the team. Jack lifted an eyebrow at her antics and then rolled his eyes.

"Andy, " Gwen exclaimed not even noticing Ianto at first. "I've bought you your favourite meal." She said and smiled at him wantonly.

"She's been like this ever since I started here, " Andy answered Ianto's unasked question. "It's like she can't see that she's got no chance and that I've been with Adam for years."

"Years?" Ianto asked. "But he hasn't been on the team that long. Jack said something like this as well. But I don't remember any Adam working in the hub two years ago, nor last year."

"That's a shame," an unfamiliar voice said behind him making him jump a bit and his head spin again with the sudden motion. The nausea was back as well. "We used to have such a great time making fun of Gwen and her jumping interests in men." The man put his hand on Ianto's shoulder. "Remember?"

And suddenly Ianto did. How could have he forgotten that? His world swirled again and he would have felt to the floor if it wasn't for Andy and Adam. Suddenly everything made sense. Adam saving Owen's life at the Pharm, Gwen's infatuation with Andy, Andy's long relationship with Adam, and why Jack was so distant. He didn't like what Ianto was doing, and his only real friend was Adam. Ianto felt so guilty about shouting at Jack two days ago. Of course Jack was distant, he loved Ianto to some extent but had only gone to live with him because the hub was getting overcrowded and because he felt sorry for Ianto after his suicide attempt. He caressed his abdomen scar absently. He had tried to kill himself by slicing his guts open and Jack was just too worried to let him live on his own again. A tear slid down Ianto's cheek and he could see the concerned faces of his co-workers but didn't have the will to do more than accept the water from Gwen and let Owen do his examinations.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: A big thank you for all her work is due to my wonderful beta reader shinee1234**

Owen was busy with Iantos' tests and didn't pay much attention to the alarm from Toshiko's computer until Jack had come out of his office and had started issuing orders. Owen still didn't pay too much attention to what he was saying because he was sure that the others could handle it and that Jack would prefer that he stayed and finished the health tests on Ianto. Something with him wasn't right. He was too pale, looked exhausted and that fainting moment was very strange, Owen remembered another time when Ianto was like this, when he was pregnant. But he had done the tests and this time they didn't came out positive, so he definitely wasn't pregnant this time. Which worried the medic even more, because it meant that it wasn't anything as positive. Of course it could have just been his anemia, but Owen wanted to check it out and be sure.

"Tosh, you and Ianto stay here and direct us," Jack was saying when Owen tuned into the conversation going on around him. "Ianto isn't really up to it at the moment I think he will be more useful here. "

Tosh nodded and Ianto pushed Owen's hands away and buttoned up his shirt, his face was flushed red with shame of someone seeing the ugly scar on his abdomen.

"Whatever they are, the signal is moving north of Merthyr." Tosh said to Jack and started to type at her station. "I'm transferring the last coordinates to the SUV's server."

"When you have something on what the creature looks like let me know and I'll find the files if we have them on the database and I will send them to you." Ianto told Jack.

Jack nodded in affirmation and turned around, he slipped on his coat as he made his way towards the cogwheel door. He reached the door and turned around.

"Gwen, go with Andy to the docks and check the first place that the signal had appeared. See if there is something that will let us know what had come through." When he heard the affirmative murmur from the two ex PCs, Jack turned towards Mickey. "Mickey, you go and scan the area in between, see if the signal is transmitted the same everywhere or if there are fluctuations. " He waved his hand around. "Adam you are with me. Let's see if we can catch this thing. Owen, you keep working on your tests but be ready to be called out in case of an emergency."

Everyone took to getting ready for their tasks. Owen just shook his head and went back to the autopsy bay. Ianto finished dressing up and took Mickey's place at the computer next to Toshiko, he threw one last glance at Jack and Adam, frowned and then started working on the directions.

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Andy and Gwen were making their way towards the spot where Tosh had detected the signal for the first time, when they heard the scream of a girl. They both ran without even needing to say a word to each other. Being partners in the police force as well as in Torchwood had been beneficial. Turning the corner and skipping around the wooden docks, Gwen and Andy saw a teenage girl that was struggling in what looked like puke coloured goo. It didn't look to be too much but she was face down and unable to get up. It smelled awful and it looked like the girl was stuck there unable to breath. If they didn't do something fast the girl was going to suffocate. Andy approached her, before Gwen could say anything to warn him, he stepped too close and the goo made something like a sucking noise and caught Andy's shoe in a strong vacuum like grip and in just a few seconds he was down next to the girl. The goo seemed to be expanding but it looked like it wasn't enough to keep a grown man down too much in addition to the girl. Gwen ran to Andy but had the mind to keep out of the path of the goo.

"Andy, are you alright?" Gwen shouted, worried. "Andy! Are you ok?"

He lifted an arm and she took it, pulling him out.

"Yeah, I'm alright, but we need Owen so he can tell us if this is toxic," Andy said scrunching his face in disgust shaking the goo off. He pulled at the girl, which was a bit harder to get off since she was covered more than Andy. Gwen nodded.

"Owen," she said in her earpiece. "We need you at the docks. Jack was right we did find something, but it isn't a creature, it is some sort of goo."

"Goo?" Owen asked.

"Yep," Gwen snickered. "And Andy is covered in it." She couldn't hold it in any longer and despite the possibility of it being toxic, she laughed. She really wanted to reassure him that he would be ok and kiss him. Maybe that will be her chance she thought. Her chance to show Andy that she loved him and for him to understand it. He never did even when they were on the force and now that he had Adam she probably should give up because it meant that he liked men. But she couldn't give up; still she was too shy to tell him. And when she thought that she finally found the courage to tell him, Owen arrived at the scene.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

When Jack and Adam reached the destination, there wasn't any creature, only a nondescript car, which Jack asked Tosh and Ianto to check up. It was some delivery van; and all they found in it was a strange box with a handful of sand grains in it. When they brought it back to the Hub, Tosh ran some analyses on it and didn't find anything but the strange signal that Mickey had found around the street. It wasn't anything they had in the Hub's logs; Ianto couldn't find anything in the archives even with Andy's help, despite Ianto's protest that he could look on his own, Andy went to help him because he didn't look that well. The only similarity they found of the signal was something that the goo which Andy and Gwen encountered gave as a signal.

"Owen, did you find anything on the goo?" Gwen asked as soon as she saw Owen.

"Yeah, nothing toxic, so Andy and the girl are safe," Owen said, then turned to Jack. "I gave the girl retcon and sent her home telling her that she had fallen into an industrial waste."

Jack nodded and turned to Ianto.

"Why don't you take the twins from Rhiannon and go home to rest?" he asked gently.

Ianto looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

"The twins?" Ianto asked. "What twins?"

Jack blinked.

"Gray and Hope, the kids." Jack said watching Ianto carefully. "Surely you remember them?"

"What kids?" Ianto asked confused.

"Ours Ianto," Jack almost shouted in frustration.

"We don't have kids Jack," Ianto said still confused. "We are both men we can't have kids."

"Then where did you have this scar from?" Jack said annoyed impatiently pointing at Ianto's stomach.

"I tried to kill myself."

"What?" Jack shouted shocked. "No Ianto, that's not it. You got it giving me something very special, our kids."

"But… I'm a man…"

Jack turned towards Owen desperately.

"Owen, show him the CCTV from the birth and some of his pregnancy."

Owen nodded.

"Then run some more tests, I want to know how Ianto could forget our children."

Owen nodded again and started the CCTV up for Ianto to watch, while preparing for more medical tests and analysis of the previous results. Ianto sank into a chair and watched, his eyes watering. How could he forget his own children? How could he give birth to children when he was a man. He half listened to Owens explanation of how it happened and to his explanation of why he forgot. He heard Owen telling Jack that his amnesia might have be a result of his depression, or it might be the result of a physical illness.

Ianto was brought back to reality by Jack's gasp and Gwen's exclamation of shock. She went to his side and hugged him gently.

"What?" Ianto asked.

"Owen has finished his tests and has the result," Jack said and sat next to him taking his hand gently.

"So?" Ianto asked still unable to understand what was going on.

Adam sat on the other side of Jack and took his hand looking from Jack to Ianto.

"If you ever need anything, you should know that I will always be here for you." He told Jack. "Anything at all, that's what best friends are for."

"What is it?" Ianto asked getting worried. "I'm not pregnant again, am I?"

"No, you're not pregnant again," Owen said, but Ianto's relief was short lived when Owen's face became dark with what he had to say and clearly didn't want to. "You have Acute Myelocytic Leukemia."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Sorry for the late update but real life is very demanding lately. I want to thank my beta shinee1234 for her hard work.**

Ianto sat between Jack and Adam in shock for a while. Leukaemia. It kept repeating in his head. He couldn't believe it. Yes, he did hurt himself, but he never really thought about fatally harming himself,even when his memories of the scar on his abdomen were telling him differently. Now that Jack had told him that he had got it by giving birth to his children, which he still couldn't remember. He had watched the footage and it made so much more sense than him trying to end his life. But then he wondered where all the other memories were coming from?

His head span with all these thoughts and he didn't know how he was supposed to feel, He should probably be feeling scared but he just felt numb. He was dying and he didn't even have the happy family with Jack that he had dreamed of to console him. Ianto looked down at his right hand which was clasped in Jack's. Then he lifted his eyes to Jack's,whose eyes were full of despair.

"Jack " he whispered.

Jack opened his mouth to say something but only a broken sob came out of it. He swallowed and sighed heavily.

"We will get through this," Jack promised. "Other people have, so can we."

Ianto just nodded numbly at him. He wanted to cry. He felt that he should crying but he was too shocked. He knew that once the shock was over he would probably start crying, but now he could only stare at Jack and watch the tears leaking down the Captains' cheeks.

"Owen is going to think of something," Jack continued through tears. "If he can't, then we can ask Martha as well. You know what a brilliant team they are together."

Ianto nodded silently again, squeezing Jack's hand for support. He could feel Adam squeezing his shoulder over Jack's body, but he couldn't find the strength to feel jealous that the other man was pressing into Jack. Gwen was leaning over at his other side hugging him as if she would never let him go. It was so strange to have her support as he would have expected her to rejoice at the possibility of getting rid of him and having Jack for herself, but maybe she had really set her eyes on Andy now. Or maybe her attacks and jealousy were just petty ones and she didn't really want to see him hurt. It didn't really matter at the moment at the moment, because Owen was coming back with more news and verdicts.

Owen cleared his throat to break the circle of support that had gathered around Ianto, he didn't want to break it, and he didn't want to be the one to bring the bad news, but somebody had to do it. Since Martha was on a retrieval mission with Mickey and Andy at the moment, he was the only option. No one had bothered Jack when the alert had come through.

They all looked at him. Gwen stood up serving as a human wall between Ianto and the world which was out to hurt him. For the first time in a while Owen approved of something Gwen was doing. Jack didn't move but gripped Ianto's hand even harder,but Ianto didn't seem to feel a pain from it,even though he preferred to feel it.

"I ran some more tests," Owen started quietly, almost apologetically. "Ianto's immune system is really weak. The cancer cells have spread all over into his blood cells. We can start the chemo but it will only serve to keep him alive for another year at most."

Gwen gasped and opened her mouth to demand that he do something, but Jack was the faster and talked before she could.

"What about a surgery and replacing the bone marrow from his sister?" Jack asked.

"If it was discovered earlier, yes, bone marrow surgery would have worked, but now it is too late," Owen said sorrowfully.

Ianto jumped to his feet pulling away from Jack and dodging Gwen's outstretched arms.

"I'm not taking the chemo!" Ianto said firmly. Everyone turned and looked at him in shock. Owen frowned and took a bit of time trying to prepare his argument as a doctor for why Ianto should take the chemo. Gwen gawked at him and tried to hug him again.

"Ianto think very carefully, this can give you more time, if you don't go through chemo you're not going to have more than four months, Ianto." Owen was almost pleading by that time.

"Please Ianto, I need you as long as you can stay, and I know a few extra months are not much, but the kids would have a few more months with you and they will be just big enough to be able to remember something at least." Jack pleaded, desperate to have Ianto for as long as he could.

"Jack, I don't ever remember them," Ianto protested. "And all they will remember of me after I start the chemo will be a tired, constantly sick, bald parent who wouldn't be able to take care of himself, let alone of them."

Jack hugged him gently and took the booklets that Owen was preparing to give him. He was going to give them to Ianto later and try to talk him into going through chemo again, late at home, when Ianto had met with Grey and Hope again and hopefully remembered them or at least his parenting instincts.

"Just promise me that you will think about it before you make the final decision please," Jack pleaded again. He could feel Ianto nodding on his shoulder. "Now I'm going to take you home, and we are going to have a nice lay in."

Ianto nodded mutely again. All the alarms in the Hub started to blare, whine and flash at the same time creating a cacophony of lights and sound.

"What the hell is going on?" Owen asked.

Adam was the first to pull himself away from Ianto and put his mind to work. He approached one of Tosh's monitors and scrolled through the information. Not long after that Toshiko was at her work stations as well, Ianto was not forgotten but there were other priorities at the moment.

"What's the emergency?" Jack asked, still not letting go of Ianto and brushing his hand up and down the Welshman's back.

"Those black cubes," Toshiko started explaining," the ones that started to appear all over the world a year ago, and seemed not to do anything but the Doctor wanted us to watch them carefully. They have started opening up all over the world and strange things are happening."

Jack nodded, but didn't look sufficiently interested in a world wide alien caused crisis. Evidently, he was too preoccupied with Ianto for once. Tosh thought it was a bit too late now, but maybe better late than never.

"Let me drive you home, and Gwen, Adam and Owen can go and see what is happening with the cubes." Jack said to Ianto gently and brushed the knuckles of his hand gently. He stood up and pulled the unresisting Welshman up with him. Ianto was still in shock even if he looked a bit more alert now. "I'll try and call John and see if he is still with the Doctor, or if he can come here."

"He is here," Gwen informed them shyly. Everyone looked at her and she blushed. "He spent the night at my place, and unless the Doctor came with the TARDIS after I left to pick him up again, he should still be there."

Jack nodded again. As far as he knew, the Doctor was staying with the Ponds waiting to see what will happen with the very same cubes they had a problem with now. John was stranded here as well because without the Doctor he had no means to travel but the Rift and it was surprisingly stable at the moment, but he hadn't come to them for a while since they didn't need his assistance. John was probably going out of his mind with boredom, as much as the Doctor was. According to John Hart the Doctor had even painted the Ponds' lawn. It made Jack smile for a moment before he remembered Ianto.

"Tosh can get me home Jack," Ianto said gently and quietly. "The world needs you to save it."

"The world has the Doctor for today." Jack said. "You need me more. Beside we have to discuss your decision about chemo."

"I've though about it while you were studying the screens," Ianto said. "I will take the chemo because the kids need me."

Jack smiled and kissed him passionately. "I love you. Maybe we can talk to the Doctor and he could take you somewhere in the future where they have cured cancer already."

Owen's eyes widened as he couldn't believe that he had missed this, of course they should be able to cure their own colleague. They are working for an alien catching organisation which wasn't that inadequate with futuristic tech and time travel.

But Ianto shook his head sorrowfully. "I can't Jack, if other people can't access this, why should I? Do they deserve to live less than me?"

Jack reached his hand to brush Ianto's face looking at him with watery eyes. "Please Ianto. The other's might not have the chance but you do. I need you."

"No Jack it's not fair, I can't. If you send me with the Doctor and cure me so should other people have the chance. I can't just take the advantage."

"Bloody conscience, fair-chance loving idiot." Owen muttered.

"We will talk about this later," Ianto said and kissed Jack. Then pushed him away playfully. "Now go out there and be the hero. Cardiff needs you."

"Are you sure?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, Tosh will drive me home and I'll call Rhiannon to come over," Ianto smiled and give Jack one more kiss before following Tosh out the door.

Jack nodded and ran down the steps towards the armoury while Owen called Martha and Mickey to see how far they have gone with their job and tell them to meet them at the Sat Helens Hospital.

Jack took his mobile out and dialled John's enhanced-by-the-Doctor phone.

"If you are calling me to shout about me shagging Gwen, I have to tell you that she liked it and beside you are a family man now," John started to defend himself without greeting.

"I'm not calling you for that," Jack said. "I'm calling you because I need you to talk the Doctor into taking you to the 32nd century and bringing a cancer cure here to Owen."

"Why?" John asked confused.

"I'm going to cure Ianto ,willing or not." Jack said through gritted teeth.

"Ianto?" John asked worried but decided that it could wait. "Never mind that you will explain later. But how are you going to do it without Ianto knowing?"

"Put it in his regular chemo."

"He is going to hate you so much."


	8. Chapter 8

Tosh had dropped him off at home and offered to stay with him but he told her to go home as well and have a rest. He didn't remember his pregnancy but was sure that it wouldn't be easy on her. He called Rhi to come and brings the kids over but now felt very nervous about having them there without Jack's support. They had explained to Rhi the situation with him forgetting the kids with the fact that he had some kid of incident falling in the bathroom, but he was scared of seeing them and not recognising his own children. On top of that he had to tell Rhi about the cancer and really now he thought that he should have waited until Jack was home before calling his sister.

He made himself a camomile tea hoping to calm his nerves because he felt another bail crawling up his throat with nerves. It always happened when he was nervous he felt sick, sometimes he even threw up, or just dry heaved. He swallowed the bail and forced himself to take a sip, then opened his leather bound diary to write his thoughts. It always helped him putting them down on paper and ordering them, it gave him perspective. Suddenly he remembered the argument with Jack from two days ago and the first time Ianto had heard Jack mention the name of Adam. He had never heard it before, yet when he went at the Hub, he remembered Adam very well.

Ianto started to leaf through the diary looking for any mention he had made of Adam, the more he looked the more frantic his shifting of pages had become. He pushed page after page, almost ripping some of them off. Two weeks ago, three months ago, an year ago…There was no mention of any Adam Smith anywhere. How was that possible? If he was with the team for two years, how was there no mention of him in his diary? Ianto wrote everything significant in the diary, he could see the entry for Suzie's suicide, Gwen's hiring, but nothing on Adam…

At that realisation everything became very clear for him, Ianto knew exactly what to do. He took the phone and dialled Jack. He knew Jack was most likely busy, but it was important. Ianto listened to the free dial tones on Jack's phone with trepidation and shaking hands, but after a few bleeps and the starting of the voice mail he knew that Jack wasn't going to answer the phone and there will be no help there. Disconnecting the call, he dialled Rhiannon and told her that he had to go back to work and it was very important, so could she keep Hope and Gray for a while. She tried to start an argument that he was a social worker and they don't have an emergency shifts outside work hours, especially when they had just got back to work after an incident. He made up some explanation of the cubes and that every civil servant needed to be present in the office, and she agreed.

Now he only needed to go to the Hub and confront Adam and make him tell him how did he manage to do this and what does he needs from Torchwood. He knew that right now he wasn't in perfect health but he was determined to get to the bottom of it. Ianto grabbed his coat and car keys and made his way to the Hub.

When he entered the Hub he had expected to find it busy with people mailing around and examining and testing the cubs, but all he found was Myfanwy at her normal place above the main area and Adam sitting on the computer. He was surprised to find Adam there, but maybe with everyone running around sorting out the stuff with the cubs, and Tosh and him incapacitated home someone had to mind the rift and watch the cubs effect on it from the hub.

"Adam," Ianto called.

Adam turned away from the computer and looked at the Welshman frowning. After a moment he give Ianto a smile, but now that Ianto had worked out that something wasn't right the smile looked insincere and almost cruel.

"Yes Ianto." Adam answered. "I thought you were going to stay home? The others are still out to hunt these cubs and there are already reports of heart attacks, so I suppose it's better that you are here anyway."

"I'm not here to check on the work," Ianto said coldly and didn't return the smile. "I'm here because I checked my diary and I can't find any mention of you there."

"Maybe you just missed it, or was so jealous that you thought I don't deserve any mentioning?" Adam suggested with the smile still on his face.

"No, I write everything in there," Ianto said firmly. "Everything worth mentioning and every colleague, their preferred food, how they take the coffee, and there is nothing about you, how come if you have been here for two years I never wrote down your preferences?"

"I don't know, but does it matter?" Adam answered and pulled another chair near him in front of the computer screen. "Come on calm down, and sit here, you can help me since you are already here, people are dropping off on the streets dead."

Ianto felt bad for the people but he knew that he and Adam can't do much for them from here even if they watched the screens, it was up to Jack, Martha, Gwen, Owen and the Doctor to save the day today. He backed away from Adam not letting him touch him.

"No," Ianto said. "You need to explain and if you won't cooperate you can explain from the cell."

He took out his stun gun and was ready to use it, but when he approached Adam the other man sidestepped him fast and before Ianto could react he took his head in his hands and pressed his palms against Ianto's temples.

"Remember," Ianto heard the voice say. "I am not in your diary because I helped you with the terrible things you did."

Suddenly Ianto could remember very clearly how he didn't want the babies and tried to get rid of them before they were born, that's why he hadn't told Jack until the end. Adam was ready to help, but somehow the babies stayed alive until they were born. Then he hurt them regularly because he wanted to work, he wanted to keep an eye on Gwen and Jack, and he wanted to look better than her, but the bloody babies had wrecked his body. He didn't want them, so he hurt them and Adam helped him to cover it. Now he remembered his kids, and he didn't want to. God he was a terrible parent, maybe they would be better without him.

"Remember?" said Adam again and they released him. Ianto fell to the floor sobbing, gulping for breath and fat tears falling from his eyes.

He was a monster.

Adam left the hub and only moments after that Jack entered it to find Ianto crying and telling him that he should be locked in a cell. That, he Ianto was a monster.


	9. Chapter 9

Jack refused to believe that what Ianto was telling him was the truth. Sure he had found the kids alone two days ago and Ianto was in the garage, but their were secure in bed and he had the baby monitor with himself. Jack simply refused to believe that Ianto would deliberately hurt there children. And anyway if Ianto was doing it he would have noticed, something like this could be hidden from people outside of the family if you make the bruises only on places where the clothes cover them, but jack had bathed them and they were unmarked. So something had happened to Ianto and Jack had to find out what.

He let Ianto sit on the chair in his office and promised him that he will lock the door, only because he didn't want to agitate his partner even more. Then he when to Tosh's workplace and turned the CCTV on to check on what could have happened in the hub to get Ianto in this state. Maybe had touched some alien artefact that had created hallucinations or something like this. He watched the recordings back to a few ours previous and for his horror he watched as Adam, who was supposed to be Jack's best friend did something like a psychic attack on Ianto. Jack heard Ianto telling Adam that he have no recording of him in his diary and ran for his office.

"Ianto," Jack shouted and barged in pushing the door until it hit the wall beside it and rattled the glass.

Ianto flinched expecting the fury of Jack finding the kids hurt.

"Yes jack." Ianto whispered.

"You have never hurt Hope or Gray," Jack said calming down and stroacking Iantos cheak. He was furious with Adam for what he had done to Ianto but it wouldn't do to scare ianto for this. "I've watched what Adam did to you and you told him that you have no record of him in your diary. Do you have the diary with you?"

"Yes, but he said that I didn't write about him because I didn't want to record what I was doing to the children because I was ashamed," Ianto said quietly.

Jack knelt in front of Ianto and took his hands in his own trying to calm him and stop the shaking of Ianto's hands. It was so unfair, ianto was ill and he didn't need to deal with this on top of everything else. Jack still couldn't really wrap his head around how he could have fallen for something like this, because now that he thought of it and tried to think of how Adam had become a part of their team and his best friend he just couldn't remember. And the touch of their shoulders, Jack had gone further back to a couple of days ago and watched as his team one by one was touched by Adam on the shoulder and had suddenly believed that they know him. Their personalities had changed too, Owen had become the perfect dotting father and husband while Tosh was a whiny wife who expected Owen to fulfil all her wishes. While before that when he looked at recordings from past weeks, Owen wasn't all that perfect although he really cared for his baby, and Tosh was sweet and enduring. They weren't even married for goodness sake.

Ianto seemed even more withdrawn, Jack was even less attentive to him than he had been in the last months, Andy who wasn't even gay was snogging Adam at every corner, and Gwen who never fancied Andy was swooning over him. The only two not greatly affected seemed to be Martha and Mickey although they had become a little colder towards each other as if they never fancied each other let alone Mickey thinking of asking Martha out on a date.

Jack decided that this could not be let to go any longer because his team wasn't what they used to be, and if he had to kill Adam he would do it no matter how hard this could be for him. Because despite everything he still felt as if Adam was his best friend, even if all logic was telling him different.

Jack looked Ianto in the eyes and brought his hands up to his lips giving them a few light kisses.

"No love, I watched the recording, he did something to you," Jack told him gently and kissed his fingers again. "I know I haven't been the best partner there is but I promise to put this right. You would never hurt our children. I'm calling Owen to check on the blood samples, if Adam was here for more than a month he would have medical record as every other employee. Then I'm going to call the team in."

Ianto nodded and went to the sofa that Jack had put recently in his office to lie down. He closed his eyes and Jack leaned over to kiss his temple before leaving the office and leaving Ianto to rest.

He rang Owen.

"Is it Ianto?" Owen asked worried. "Does he needs me?"

"No Owen calm down," Jack said secretly touched that Owen cared so much about Ianto. "I need you to come over and check Adam's medical record."

"Can it wait Jack?" Owen said sounding annoyed now that he knew it wasn't an emergency with Ianto's health. "Only people are dropping off with cardiac arrests on the streets ever since this cubs started opening, we still don't have a word from the Doctor and Rhys is the last victim that I managed to miraculously safe but I don't know for how long. Me and Martha are run off our feet helping other medical staff and Gwen is hysterical about Rhys being in danger and she is no help at all."

"If you tell me where to look and what to search for I can do it, and then we can think of how to proceed once the whole team is at the hub." Jack told him. "You take care of your patients Doctor Harper."

There were a few inquisitive questions from Owen for the reason why he wanted to check the medical records of Adam and why Jack had to do something with him. Jack told him that he will answer these questions soon, but right now they needed to do their work. After putting the phone down Jack went to the medical bay and following Owen's instructions he started searching through the files. It only took him a few minutes to discover that they didn't have any medical records of Adam Smith, and no blood banks.

Jack went back to his office and knelt down by Iantos site near the sofa.

"Ianto, sweetheart," Jack whispered caressing his cheek. Ianto opened his eyes tiredly but managed a small tentative smile for his lover. "You were right."

"About what?"

"About Adam," Jack said and helped him sit up when he saw that Ianto was struggling to do it. He must be really ill and exhausted, jack thought. It wasn't a surprise really, he had been suffering the cancer for god knows how long and was at the moment under so much stress. "He really isn't on our records, I don't know what is going on here, but it ends today."

Ianto tried to stand up but a vertigo overcame him and he swayed on his feet. Jack caught him under his arms and lowered him back down on the sofa.

"Careful, Ianto," Jack said concerned. "Do you want me to call you a taxi to Rhiannon's house?"

"No ianto shook his head" "I want to see this threw.

Jack nodded and let him sit on the sofa and went to get him some water and something to eat. Before he had managed to get back to his office, the cog door rolled open and Captain John Hart swaggered in.

"Hey lover boy," he greeted Jack with a leering smile but his smile disappeared after a while. "How is Ianto?"

"Holding on for the moment, but doesn't look well," Jack said.

"I've talked to the Doctor, as soon as he'd dealt with this we are going to the 34th century for the cure," John whispered looking around in case Ianto hears him. Jack nodded gratefully.

"So the Doctor is dealing with this?"

"Yes, he is on the ship with Rory right now and dealing with the threat. I wanted to go as well, but he said that I will be too tempted to shoot something. Apparently these things were created to exterminate the human race as a pest control," John shrugged faking disinterest.

"A pest control?" Jack asked.

"Apparently humans are infesting the galaxy."

Jack shook his head in disbelieve but proceeded to go into his office and give the water to Ianto. John looked at Ianto and frowned, he really looked pale and ill but John decided not to say anything.

John received the news from the Doctor that everything was sorted on his Vortex Manipulator. A few moments later the team filled into the hub followed by Adam. The moment John saw Adam he looked at Jack.

"Didn't know you had recruited someone new," he commented.

"I haven't" Jack said and took his gun out. "Step away from Andy and keep away."

"Jack…" came a few surprised exclamations from his team members but his attention didn't waver from Adam.

"Is that some kind of a joke Jack?" Adam asked smirking.

"Who are you?" Jack asked.

"I want to know the same thing," John murmured behind Jack.

"Oh, come on that Adam, stop with the silly jokes," Andy said.

"I am serious," Jack growled.

"Your best friend, remember?" Adam moved a step down towards Jack.

"Keep back," he commanded gripping his gun tighter. "Everyone don't let him touch you. You have to believe me, he isn't a part of the team, that's why I asked Owen for the medical records, we have no records of any Adam Smith. And we have records of everyone."

He explained to the stunned team how he and ianto had found out that Adam was actually an alien who wanted to integrate himself into the team and had modified their memories to do so and it had also changed them. Of course it didn't excuse his absence from his family, but it explained his off hand treatment of Ianto in the last couple of days.

"It's not really an alien, it's more of a vortex creature that needs to fee on you memories to stay alive," John Hart informed them remembering something he had read in the Time Agency database. "You need to forget him to go back to who you are."

"Ok, retcone then" Jack said and Owen nodded.

Andy took out his gun and pointed it at Gwen, "I love him, you can't take him away," he said.

Gwen looked at him with her big pleading eyes. She couldn't believe that the man she was secretly in love with was actually holding a gun to her head.

"Andy put the gun down," Jack commanded. "He is not real."

"He is real to me," Andy said through his tears. "I love him, isn't that real enough."

"I'm sorry Andy but it isn't because that's not you. Please trust me." Jack tried to placate him.

"Think about it Andy, if you were yourself, would you have held a gun to Gwen?" John Hart reasoned.

Suddenly the Andy deflated and let the gun fall to the floor. He turned to Adam sobbing.

"I'm sorry."


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm really sorry for that big gap. I had abandoned the story for a while and didn't even think I would be back to it. I had a lot going on in life, first my council threw me out of my flat and stopped my housing benefits, then my sister said that she can't let me live with her for more than a few months, so I didn't have computer to write. I'm now in another council house living with two more ppl but I don't know for how long so I can't promise that I will finish this. Ill do me best/**

Adam tried to reach for Andy again looking hurt and dejected but Jack threw the hammer of his gun back and Adam stopped in one place. He wasn't sure if the gun would have any effect on him, it usually wouldn't but right now he was in a human body and the people around him perceived him as human so it wasn't too sure that a gun wouldn't kill him.

" But you can't please," Adam tried to plead his case with them. "If you forget me, I'll die. I need people to have me in their memories so I can exist."

"I'm sorry," jack said apologetically. "But you are affecting not only our memories but who we are as people. I can't leave you do this. Look at Ianto, you've hurt him. Made him believe such awful things about himself. And maybe we could have paid more attention and discovered his illness much earlier if you weren't affecting us."

Adam looked at Ianto and suddenly deflated stepping back from them not touching anyone and suddenly grabbing a chair for a support.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt anyone," he said quietly. "I just want to live, why can't I deserve to live just because im not human?" he asked this time almost shouting. "Is that it? Just because Im not human, then I don't deserve to live?"

"No of course not sweetheart," Gwen said through tears. She thought that maybe he needed to be held responsible for what he had done to them, but who were they to decide who had to live and die. He just wanted to exist, was it really so bad? Involuntary she took a step towards him, but John grabbed her before she could get within a touching distance from Adam.

"If you retcon yourself, you will forget about Ianto's illness and then what will happen to him?" Adam tried one more tactic to make them reconsider.

"I haven't been touched by you," said John. "I can keep my memories, and even if I remember you being here I'm not affected by your touch so that wont bring you back. I will tell them about Ianto's cancer."

John was smirking, he felt good to be able to play the guy who didn't care about killing someone again, and still be useful to the team. He'd been too well behaved with the Doctor, but it was a price he had to pay. If being the hero rather than the scruples thief helped him being with them then he would do it. Then he remembered a place he had been with the Doctor.

"Unless," he said slowly and everyone looked at him with curiosity. "I can call the Doctor and he can only delete Adam from your memories, this way you wont forget the last week, and I can let him touch me when the Doctor is here. Than we can take him to a planet where people actually feed and communicate telepathically. This way he can live and not alter anyone's personality."

Everyone looked at John with surprise and he had to smirk again in satisfaction.

"What? You never though that I can help someone without having a profit or killing them?" he asked a bit frustrated. Why did this people always think that he would never change?

Jack nodded. "Good idea," he smiled at John and took Adam to one of the cells to wait for the Doctor.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N and this concludes the Adam arch. **

Jack woke up with really bad headache wondering why did he drink so much knowing that Iano was ill and would need his support. He was wonering what excuse to use to placate his gorgeous Welsh boyfriend when Ianto entered the conference room looking quite haggard himself. It saddened jack that Ianto might have felt bad enough to drink into oblivion just one more time, but it actually made him feel less guilty that he had apparently to much too drink when his Ianto was suffering. Maybe they had been drinking to drown their sorrows not to celebrate anything.

Only after he looked around Jack noticed that he and Ianto weren't the only ones that had been drinking. Around the conference room table were a few people who were still snoozing obliviously. To jacks right was gwen who had even managed to let trickle a bit of a drool, next to Gwen was Toshiko, who really shouldn't been drinking and Jack really felt quite annoyed about it. No matter how much they were mourning, and really Ianto was still alive and they shouldn't be mourning him just yet, but Toshiko had a baby growing inside her to think about. He was wondering what Owen would think, probably nothing much seeing how he was snoring quite vocally almost in Toshiko's lap. On the other side of the table were Mickey, Martha and Andy, also clearly asleep and also clearly out of it.

The only one who seemed to have woken up and kept the normal working mind was Ianto, although he to looked bad and hangover but he wad carrying a tray full with coffee mugs and a coffee maker. It was a blessing for Jack's sore head.

"What the hell happened here?" Jack asked.

Ianto shrugged looking uninterested.

"I don't know. I woke up after Owen told me I had leukaemia but I don't remember passing out or being medicated. Thought you might know something." Ianto said and looked hopeful at Jack.

Jack shook his head baffled and unable to give Ianto a better answer.

"All I remember is being in shock and crying, then talking with John who told me the Doctor had dealt with the Cubs that were putting people in hospital." Jack looked around surprised that he couldn't see John Hart around the table. If there was one person Jack would have expected to be lying drunk out of his mind it would have been Captain John Hart. Maybe he had already left with the Doctor after saving the world. And wasn't that a strange thing to come to mind when thinking of the other time agent. Saving the world with the Doctor Jack' s mind boggled to think of it.

" I need to to go to Rhiannon and take the children, have to also tell her about the cancer" Ianto brought back Jack to the present.

Jack nodded sadly and kissed Ianto telling him that he would be on time home this time and help him to bath and put the kids to bed. The others started waking up slowly one by one, and Jack had to spent the rest half an hour explaining to them that no neither he nor Ianto remembered why they feel hangover and why they had some strange feelings that the memories of the last few days were incomplete. Tosh was stoink as usual and despite her pains and discomfort of her heavy pregnancy she insisted on working until she retrieves the cctv from the last week until she found a message by the Doctor and John Hart telling her that it would be best if she didn't dwell on it. She didn't trust Hart but she did trust the Doctor.

Owen grumbled a bit about his wife working long hours even now but in the end decided that he can't care all that much and left on his own to go home and wait for Toshiko there. Jack shook his head in disappointment towards Owen, for some reason he felt like Owen let her down and the strafe feeing that Owen ought to have been more of a careful and doting father and husband. Then he shook this notion baffled when could he get this idea about Owen? It was so illogical Owen being caring and dotting. It was also strange how he and Ianto could appear so distant from each other. When the conversation had proceeded they were all so formal before Ianto served them the coffee and left for his sisters house.

There wasn't enough time to think on this because as soon as gwen had woken up, she wanted to know, actually demanded to know what was going on. Unlike tosh though the Doctors message had not dissuaded Gwen Cooper from the notion of looking into any clue that she could find and Jacks attention was hastily taken once again by her trying to keep her away from being to nosy.

Andy waited for a short time lingering around the work stations trowing Gwen hopeful looks ams waiting for her to notice him now that she was back and single. It was pitiful Jack thought the way he still carried his torch for her, when she never even looked twice at Andy and kept on following Jack. In the end Andy left too. Jack had never noticed when Mickey and Martha had left. Probably together and going to consume their new relationship.

In the end even Tosh left and it was only Jack and Gwen around the Hub, a situation that was very uncomfortable for Jack because he still remembers what had happened the last time they had been left in the Hub alone nearby two years ago. He tried to excuse himself and get away or sent her away to see her daughter but Gwen assured him that Rhys was taking Anwen for the next few days. She approached Jack and looking in his eyes took his hand and led him to sit on the sofa. He did follow her wondering what she wanted and what was she going tosay to him now.

"Jack I know Ianto wants to come back here to work, but I'm really worried about him. Do you think he should be doing it?" She asked sounding sincerely concerned but her body language spoke volumes of what she really hoped for and wanted. Jack was sure that now that Ianto was ill Gwen was seeing her opportunity.

"I to would prefer him to take it easy, but is his decision Gwen, not mine." Jack told her but knew that even respecting iantos decision he was still going to only give him light duty jobs.

" I know." Gwen said. "But I want you to know that you and Ianto are my friends and I will always be here for you. Anything you need just let me know. "

She squeezed Jack's hand gently.

"I know" he said nodding.

"And now that I'm not with Rhys anymore, and in a few months Ianto won't be around there is no point in me being a single mother and you a single father. It's not easy bringing up your children on your own. And we don't have to both be alone, you can always take comfort in me. Anything you want." She told him holding his hand and looking him insistently in his eyes.

Jack pulled his hand with disgust and stood up facing her with anger his eyes tunderous.

"How dare you Gwen Cooper," Jack shouted. " Iantos body is not only not cold yet,he is still alive. Are you really that callous?" He shouted at her. " Get out!"

Gwen stood up and ran out of the hub crying.


	12. Chapter 12

Shortly after Gwen left Jack transferred the rift alert to his vortex manipulator and to mickeys computer and left as well. He couldn't wait to have an early for once night with Ianto and his kids. He missed them all so much, and knowing that he could lose Ianto in the next few months if John and the Doctor arrived to late with the cure made it hard for Jack too breathe. He hated seeing Ianto in pain and the fact that it was going too be a daly basis killed him.

When he finally entered the house was to see a distraught Ianto sitting at the table and trying to feed two very stubborn and messy children. Jack approached his very frustrated looking partner.

"How are you doing?" He asked Ianto leaning to kiss him.

Ianto withdrew slightly.

"Jack just because I'm ill it doesn't mean I'm going to forgive you for the absence of the last few months. Even if you don't remember what exactly happened the last couple of days." Then his face softened. "But you actually showing up home early and takinga an interest in us it's a good start."

Ianto smiled and bent to pick up another thrown on the floor spoon. He sighed tiredly and went to wash it and give it back to Hope so he could keep feeding her.

"Go lay down. I'll feed them and put them to bed." Jack said behind him taking the spoon from him and kissing his neck.

Ianto agreed easily already feeling a bit tired and lightheaded. This time however despite feeling a bit ill, the calming factor that Jack was home and helping made him feel better and he only went to bed without the usual now throwing up first. Making himself comfortable be let out a sigh of relief and took a book. He had lost how much time had passed while nodding off with the book in his hands, but he was woken up from his light nap when Jack kisses his forehead and put a tray with plates on the bed between them.

"Kids are fed, bathed and sleeping." Jack said gently. "Now is our time for dinner."

Ianto looked at the food Jack had prepared and then at his partner guiltily. " I'm not really hungry." He said apologetically feeling guilty to disappoint Jack after all this care.

"I know but you need to eat something love." Jack said stroking his hair lightly. Ianto sighed again, he couldn't disappoint Jack again, beside Jack was right he needed to keep himself strong for as long as he could because his children needed him dad. He nodded and started eating.

"I was thinking," Ianto began carefully. "I really want to work at the Hub, but maybe I can keep half time hours and only Hub duties." He felt like he was letting his colleagues and Jack down because they needed him there, but that day was tiring enough and with the chemotherapy it was only going to get worse.

"I was thinking the same" Jack nodded,," maybe you should just stay home." He said hopefully, but Ianto shook his head. He didn't want to stay home it felt to useless.

"Rhiannon will help with the children and will probably be here to take care of me while I'm home." Ianto smiled tiredly and uncomfortable, he had insisted that he could take care of himself but the moment his sister learned about his illness she insisted on taking care of him, which made Ianto feel very awkward and uncomfortable. But he knew that he had no choice and if not now later he would need someone to take care of him, Ianto preferred his sister rather than a professional sitter.

He ate as much as he could hope to hold inside himself without it making him sick and contentedly put the tray away, he lay on jakcs shoulder and started to streak his chest.

"you haven't changed your mind about the chemo, have you?" Jack asked quietly.

"Do we have to talk about this now?" Ianto asked teasing and lowered his hand to jacks groin. "No I haven't I'll go through it"

Jack swallowed and buckled a bit in Iantos hands.

"Are you sure you are up to it? You looked quite tired a few moments ago." Jack asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. Your food and care had returned my strength. It's nice you finally have you home when I'm not sleeping." Ianto said

Jack laughed and flipped over getting on top of Ianto and starting to kiss him from his neck all the way down.

Yes it was nice to finally be home and have Ianto in this mood. It's been months since Ianto had done something like this and looked happy. Jack knew it was his fault to some extend though not all his foult but he was determined to fix it now. Starting with tonight and iantos first orgasm in six months.

Gwen Cooper went home feeling stupid and hurt. She had offered her support to Jack bloody Harkness just to have it all flung in her face in the cruelest possible way. Couldn't he just told her that right now he can't think of Ianto not being there, but later on he might give a thought to her offer. Or just tell her that he cannot accept because it hurt to much, did he had to go and insult her and then kick her out? She was just wanting to help. She was sure that Ianto would be happy that his children will not have to live without a mother. Really what she was offering to Jack was only practical and logical and she was only offering it after Ianto died not now. It was stupid of Jack to react the way he did.

She didn't go to Rhys to take Anwen this time despite of finishing earlier. She called him to excuse herself and tell him that she had a really bad day and was going to need to be alone, he grumbled a bit about her not being sufficiently involved mother, but in the end was all too happy to have Anwen with him for longer. Gwen was furious with Jack, she really was. It wasn't like she wanted Ianto to die, she really didn't but all the same they all knew that Owen was saying that Ianto was too far gone and was going to die no matter what they all wanted, so there was no reason for Jack to be that mean to her. So in the end when Captain John Hart showed up at her door for the second time in as many days, Gwen did not turn him away.


	13. Chapter 13

Ianto couldn't even guess what he was supposed to do with himself now that Jack would not allow him to spend too much time at work, and Rhiannon was taking most of the time care of the children. He supposed it was better this way because he had agreed on Owen administering him the chemo therapy and was very tired a lot of the time, but he had some good days too yet and by god he was bored. He'd talked Jack into staying and helping with some files again when Gwen walked through the door all smiles and bubbly excitement, it was so infectious that Ianto couldn't help but grin back at her.

"What's with the happy?" Ianto asked her.

She bounded down the stairs to the beaten up sofa where he sat and gave him a kiss on the cheek, which was surprise enough to almost give him a heart attack.

" Oh, noting special John just came by last night again and stayed the night", Gwen said happily and the practically skipped to her work place. Ianto shook his head feeling a bit confused and dizzy swept in the whir-wind of the force that was the happy Gwen Cooper. He was really surprised that Captain John Hart had now came back on numerous occasions to Gwen and even stayed sometimes. He didn't even want to imagine what the two of them were getting up to but it kept Gwen away from Jack which was just fine with Ianto.

He felt tired and faint again so now knowing his limits, he put the papers down and laid on the sofa closing his eyes. He didn't notice when he had dozed off, but the next moment he opened his eyes Owen was putting his jacket on, Tosh was turning off her computer screen and Jack was talking to John Hart grinning quite suggestively. After a few more whispered words John mock saluted Jack and ran out of the Hub most likely chasing Gwen Cooper. Andy, Marta and Mickey were nowhere to be seen and Ianto realised that he had slept through the most of the work day.

"Jack I'm sorry." He jumped off the sofa and swayed a bit feeling sick and dizzy for a moment. Should remember not to do that again while dying Ianto though drily.

Jack cough him before he could fall and held him gently in his hands gazing at Ianto with concern.

"Hey careful. How are you feeling?" Jack asked.

"Better now." Inato said quietly almost in a whisper when he could catch his breath and find words after losing himself in the gorgeous blue eyes of his partner. He couldn't believe how much he still loved Jack, and Jack was gazing at him with the same adoration.

" I have reserved a table in our Italian restaurant if you are up to it." Jack said. " I have something special to tell you. But only if you are up to it."

Ianto's s stomach flutter with butterfly nerves in anticipation of what that could be, but Jack was smiling gently at him so it could not be something bad. He decided that he could manage to stay on his feet for a couple of more hours now that he had a few hours nap on the sofa, however, he was not sure that he could be able to eat anything.

"Ok, yes I'm up to it." Ianto said smiling back to Jack.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

It was two hours later when they had finished their meal not that Ianto had eaten much and jack had voclised his displeasure very clearly, but in the end he gave up because he didn't want to force Ianto. He felt very nervous about what he was going to do or say and how it would be received. He waited until their dessert had arrived and then decided that he couldn't wait any longer.

Ianto was feeling very nervous himself, the whole meal had passed and Jack had not said anything more about what he was going to talk to him for. He shifted in his seat impatiently when the waiter left their desserts on the table and left. He was going to snap at Jack to spill it out already when Jack abruptly stood up and knelt beside his chair. Ianto's eyes went wide open when Jack put his hand in his coat pocket.

"Oh, my God" Ianto whispered with hands over his mouth.

" Ianto Jones," Jack began sounding ceremonious. " I know we have been though some very hard times lately, and I know I haven't always been the best partner, but I love you. And I can't imagine the world without you. You have given me the most wonderful gift of our two children."

Jack swallowed.

"Ianto Jones, will you marry me?"

Ianto just stood there for a moment unable to react with tears falling down his cheeks and opening his mouth without any sound coming out.

" Jack, I have waited for this for so long, and I love you very much so please don't hate me, but I can't." Ianto said sobbing on the last word.

"Why, Ianto? If you love me and have really wanted for it so long. Then why say no?"

"Because I'm dying Jack, I'm dying and I know you love me and want to marry me before I've died, but I don't want to make a widower of you before you could have enjoyed our marriage in full."

Jack wanted to shook Ianto and demand of him to give him a proper answer because that wasn't convincing, but he knew that it was for Ianto, it was real because he didn't know about John's cure, which wasn't even working the way Jack had wanted it to. He looked at Ianto's tearstreaken face and brushed the mosit away with his thumbs.

"I understand, I don't hate you baby. I can never hate you." Jack shushed Ianto. "I'll just have to try again when you are better."


	14. Chapter 14

The silence in the car on the way home from the restaurant wasn't especially uncomfortable but Ianto felt like he had let Jack down and didn't feel like really speaking. He knew that Jack didn't hate him but he couldn't help but think that he was probably very disappointed because Jack really wanted to make it up for the last few months. He wished he could let Jack do this one thing to make him feel better, but he knew that it would be even harder to Jack if he lost his husband shortly after the wedding. But in the end of their dinner, even thought he said no he promised Jack that if he gets better he will marry Jack immediately, even thought he knew that he wasn't getting better.

"Ianto don't worry about it, I'm good with whatever makes you feel better" Jack was trying to console him, briefly letting go the wheel with one hand and squeezing Ianto's knee in comfort. He just hoped that the cure that John had sneaked into the medicine that Owen was preparing for Ianto would work soon before things had gone beyond irreversible.

Ianto was about to answer him when Jack's phone rang. The screen showed the caller being Owen. Jack took his bluethoot and put it in his ear switching hit on.

"Owen," he said to the medic who had the short straw of having the night shift of monitoring the rift. They had started having shifts at night since Jack didn't live there any more to be the one always available to monitor it. " Everything ok in the Hub?' Jack asked.

"Yeah," was Owen's answer before Jack could hear shuffling of papers. "I just got over Ianto's results and they don't make sense."

"What do you mean they don't make sense? Jack asked worried. How can iantos medical results not make sense? Didn't he had been through enough already?

"Well remember when I said that he was beyond help even with the chemo therapy and that it would only give him a little bit more time?" Owen asked.

Jack nodded before remembering that he was on the phone with Owen and he couldn't see him. "Yeah." He said with a heavy heart and sight.

"What's going on Jack?" Ianto asked worried. "What is Owen saying?"

"Hush a moment" Jack told him none too gently and instantly regretted it, but Ianto strangely seemed to actually be happy about it. It had been the first time Jack or anyone else had treated him as normal and not coddled him ever since he fell ill.

Ianto grinned and Jack smacked him on the shoulder, it was so good to forget for once that something was wrong and act as if they were just going home as normal after a long day at Torchwood.

" Well" Owen started then stopped. Then cleared his throat and began again. "Well, his results are clear now. Blood is negative for cancer cells, all other results are coming clean. I think Ianto is in remission." Owen finished.

Jack looked sharply towards Ianto and then exhaled slowly like he was finally letting out a breath that he was holding for months.

"Are you sure?" Jack asked hardly able to believe.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"But he is still weak and tired." Jack said worriedly.

"That's the chemo therapy he'll have to finish the process anyway even if he appears clear of cancer so he might still be tired and ill a bit but it should start getting better."

Jack smiled and thanked Owen before hanging up the phone. So John's cure was working and the Doctor haven't came yet to shout at him so he assumed that John hadvent been caught by the Doctor using his travels in the TARDIS to bring a futuristic cure to the 21st century.

Jack turned towards Ianto and smiled. " Owen just told me that you are in remission."

Ianto opened his mouth trying to answer but nothing came out. Then he closed it and tried attain opening it.

"Are you sure?" Ianto asked. "Because he said that…"

"I know what he said." Jack interrupted him gently. "But his test results are showing something different."

Ianto nodded.

"Then lets go home." He said smiling. " Lets have a few calm days and me get used to having a future again and you can propose again."

Jack grinned, while Ianto called Rhiannon to let her know and ask her if she can keep the twins for the night with her so he and Jack can celebrate the good news in style.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Gwen Cooper turned around in bed and looked at the man lying next to her in bed absolutely sent and content for the night. Gwen herself was pleasantly spent and tired but couldn't sleep because she was feeling something she couldn't explain even to herself and they were troubling her. She knew when she was falling in love and she knew that what she had started with the man laying next to her had started as just a bit fun but for her had starting to become something much more. The only problem was that Captain John Hart did not do falling in love. He might have been coming often to the Hub and more often than not crashing at her apartment in the last few weeks but she knew that as soon as it become boring for him he would just fly off again into the stars.

Maybe that was the thing she was starting to fall in love with, he was so much like Jack. She was falling for the same qualities. He too was exiting, mysterious, free spirit from the future, dangerous and infuriating. She did not know his real name but she had learned what he liked in bed, where he liked her to kiss him and where to hurt him.

She trailed a finger lightly over his bare and lean back. He stirred slightly and her finger froze, she didn't want him to wake up, she wanted to watch him still for once and take her time. He never seemed to be still long enough for her to take it all in.

God help her but she was falling in love with Caption John Hart.


	15. Chapter 15

Gwen didn't even notice how much time had passed while she was starring at John Hart, but when he finally stirred awake the light of early dawn was starting to break through the windows. She still couldn't wrap her mind around how much the thought of him leaving with the Doctor again in the morning was hurting her.

"Seeing something you like?" John asked her giving her a suggestive grin.

"Don't you start again Vera" Gwen warned him jokingly and playfully slapped him on the arm. " I'm still sore form last night. You want to be useful? Go make some tea."

John pouted at her. " What am I your minion? I'm an intergalactic playboy and theaf. I'm not making you tea!" He shouted running naked towards the kitchen, laughing. Gwen ran after him and managed to catch him by the kitchen counter and pressed herself against his back. John turned the tables around on her and flipped their positions over and trapped her between himself and the sink.

Gwen gazed at his eyes with her big doe eyes wide open. She wanted to drown herself in his deep blue pools that were his beautiful eyes. John frowned at her intense gaze.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" John asked.

"What? No?" Gwen frowned and then kissed him gently which made him deepen his frown. They have kissed and spent the night, had had some good sex but it was rarely tender and never gentle. " Don't go!" Gwen said.

"What?" John asked surprised.

"Please, don't go." She pleaded. "Let the Doctor take Amy and Rory somewhere on their own. You can go later."

"What do you think this is Gwen? You know I don't stay, didn't we settle this already?"

Gwen's eyes watered but she refused to let the tears spill.

"Please, just this time. I'll miss you so much."

" I can't Gwen, I'm sorry but once the Doctor had left I have no guarantee when he will be back. Just look at Jack, how many years did he had to wait?" John caressed her cheek and she nodded swallowing her tears. " And how long before we get bored from each other? How long before I feel stifled just on one planet?"

He asked and she couldn't answer because her throat was so tight she couldn't speak and if she tries the only noise would have been a cry. When John pulled away so she can pour herself a tea the distinctive noise of the landing TARDIS could be heard from the hallway. Gwen whimpered quietly.

"I'll still come back I promise." He told her and kissed her goodbye before running to the blue box.

"I love you." She whispered in the empty room.


End file.
